A Year After Our Pregnancy Loss

A Year After Our Pregnancy Loss

Has it really been a year since we lost our baby boy? It really doesn’t feel like it. I still struggle with the loss of our first child. I still find myself holding back tears every time I see a pregnant woman. I still find myself crying while sitting in the car on my way to work. However, these things happen less than they used to. It doesn’t happen every day, but it still does happen. Every month that goes by it gets better, and it gets worse. AptBPhotography_AnsleyDJ-35

The emotional pain of losing 20 weeks into our pregnancy has lessened, but it has been replaced with the emotional pain of struggling to conceive again. It’s a vicious cycle every month and every month, the tears flow with another friend announcing their pregnancy and another negative pregnancy test.

My husband decided to have a weekend getaway in Savannah on the one year anniversary of losing our son. Savannah holds a very special place in our hearts. We used to meet in Savannah often when we were dating, because he was living in Fayetteville N.C and I was in Orlando Fl.  Savannah was a great half way point. He also told me he loved me the first time in Savannah and we have always felt it was just “our city”. AptBPhotography_AnsleyDJ-78

I had an idea to do a little memorial for our little man one year later, and being the amazing husband he is, he went along with it. I decided I wanted to document it for 2 reasons. 1. I wanted to have a memory of him, even if he is no longer on this earth, and 2. Because The Hubs and I love Savannah so much and we don’t have many pictures of us together in our favorite city. I contacted Wendy with Apt. B Photography and she did an amazing job with helping us not only remember our little man, but also capture our love for each other.

Why should photo sessions between couples be saved for only happy occasions (engagements and weddings) when marriage is everything in between that. Our marriage has been a winding path. 2 deployments, 4 moves the loss of a child and infertility struggles. All those things happen between the smiling wedding photos and Christmas cards, and I’m so glad Wendy was there to capture those moments. I will never forget my little man, and I feel now I am truly ready move on. “I will hold you in my heart until I can hold you in my arms. You are loved, you are missed, you are remembered.” AptBPhotography_AnsleyDJ-10

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